your adventure

Your old rucksack is by the door

bravely facing the ghosts that we were too scared for.

All I need is the air that I breathe

and yet my throat is tight and I am left to search

for the missing thing

that only time can bring.

Let’s hope someday we can cry again.

but for now, all of us feel empty;

sitting in our solidarity,

each of us feeling alone with you in this old bedroom.

Your laughter echoes between the walls,

the presence that was inherently you filling every silent space.

You are in every book on every shelf,

reminding us of who you were,

who you could have been,

and all your grand notions of self.

Your adventures are too beautiful to get lost in time,

so we will tell your story for you,

not with words,

but with the love we hold for you

contained within in our very thoughts.

You were like spilt ink

across my pages,

filling the space for my words up

with words of your own-

the questions you never asked

that I still feel obliged to answer.

One day, tears won’t fall.

Laughter will once again spill out of the lines of an orderly life.

We will split the seams

of expectation,

sleeping with our thoughts,

dancing with our plans,

holding a courtship of favour that

(for once)

won’t end in disappointment.

-g.m

for N, A and R
 _____________________________________________
some context:

normally i'm very private about my work and the process behind it until i'm sure it's finished and it's been approved by my lovely little beta reader, but i have been very stuck with this poem for about sixth months. it's about something very real for me and i think i just got a little too emotionally invested which made it hard to work through the writing process objectively. so i reached out to some friends (via social networking, obviously. i dont have any real friends) and they helped me to just edit out the kinks in this piece, which is why this poem (and my sanity) is dedicated to them. i'm quite proud with how this turned out in the end and i think this is because i know that i took a leap of faith and shared my work with people before it was ready, and yet they still welcomed it.

i feel more than a little blessed.

much love

x